once again, i blog... its been a long time since i signed in... a lot has happened and i dont know where to begin. today, im sad. i almost emo-ed the whole day because of last night that i might have made my sister sad and she cried. i blame myself because of that. i apolgized to her today but she didn't reply. she seems to be wanting to ignore me. i have said my sorries and she doesn't seem to take it seriously... i cant do anything but just telling her how important she is to me and how desperate i want her forgiveness... how i wished that she would just say "i forgive you" but she didn't. she's the only godsis i have and the closest thing i have to family, things that i share with. she usually calls me brother in mandarin... but today.. (dont wanna talk about it) i hate school and i like school at the same time.. i hate school because of certain people's attitude that i cant take it which is asking me to cause a fight. but preferably not to. though i am sad.. no one in school knows and understands me truely... no one that i know really and truely understands me well enough and truly understands why this happens when im like that and why that happens when im like that... im not saying to know that im important or anything but how i hope, out there, there is a friend who cares and really knows me more than anyone else. that's why i straightforwardly share things with my godsis mostly. but... i might not be able to do it anymore. that's one of the reasons why i share things straightforwardly witht the friends that i have and closest of all... its not that im important but just to let my friends know why this and that happens when im like this and that, so that next time, its easier for me to communicate with them... but it seems like i have to wait longer....anyway.. im not really in the mood today. so.. bye