Monday, November 19, 2012

Tasting Bitter Before Sweet

20th November 2012

     So i've not been updating my blog recently because i've been occupied by life's challenges? i guess that's called? So i'll be updating this from time to time nevertheless. Funny how this is like talking to myself. Anyway, so whatever that's gone is gone. Whatever that's past, i shall let it be the past. So there are several things that are worrying me now. These are the things that i've been facing and these are the things that i still have to face NO MATTER WHAT.
NUMBER ONE : the news is, i have an upcoming exam. HOORAY! YIPPEE! BUT i haven't started reading a single thing. -_- pretty good right? currently focusing on the couple of other things also which distracts me from the utmost importants. 
NUMBER TWO : i have a presentation and im working on it as i type. Two assignments to hand in by tonight or else im not going to turn off my lappy alive. or asleep that is. One to know what im going to be talking about tomorrow and the other have to hand in to my other team leader. 
NUMBER THREE : tomorrow is one of the presentation day and i have stage fright. Dont know what im going to be talking about tomorrow but then im just going to do my best. i had to...and i just hate this. 
NUMBER FOUR : actually there isn't any number four, all stated on the above already. 
So despite all of those crap that i the college life has to through at me, i met this girl recently. And this girl actually brought colours into my life. I started liking her as soon as i got out with her the first time. The first time that i met her, she was in a shopping mall, working in a gift shop. At that time i didn't know which to buy so she came over, as how usually the worker would attend to the customer. I was thinking of buying some stuff for my sister cause at that time it was her birthday. It was kind of a rush so i didn't know what to buy. So she came over and hoped that she might assist me in anyway. Usually i would hesitate talking to someone straight off like that but that time i didn't. I straight away asked her and i asked for her opinion for which to buy cause she is also a girl and she would know which taste a girl wants. So thinking that i got everything, she got it all wrapped up and i paid and i left. At that time, i really hope that i can see her again cause she was the first worker that i've said things to so casually. especially when she's a girl. HAHA so anyways, after a while, one of my college mate's birthday came and i thought i'd go back to the same place to buy. There are times when i passed by when i went to visit another friend who was working in the same district but at that time i couldn't see her. I felt kinda disappointed when i realized she doesn't work there anymore. Was already planning to get her facebook or her number or at least her name the next time i see her. But then haih, maybe by fate we will meet again. So i looked forward to that time. 
So one day when i logged into my facebook and i saw a notification or someone added me recently. So i was very happy whether if it was a girl or boy cause its the feeling you get before opening a your presents. So i opened and saw this girl's profile. when i looked into her profile, not exactly stalking, just to get the idea of who she was, i thought she looked familiar in her profile picture. So i approved and asked her to introduce herself. Sometime later, she replied and she revealed that she was indeed that girl that i met back at the gift shop and i was so damn happy and glad, although i didn't show it, when i see her. So we got to know a little bit and we went out the first time and i started liking her when i started to know how she was like. We have so much in common. There's so many things that we can share and there's so many thing that we could talk about together. But i kinda fell for her and i didn't tell her. I didn't dare to because she had only suffered a heartbreak and i dont want to be the guy that suddenly jumps into her life and spoils or messes up everything. so i kept it all to myself. I didn't dare tell her or confess to her because i wasn't sure if my chances of getting her would be the same as the other girls that had rejected me. So i too hesitate and just appreciate and not complain about the friendship that we share. I didn't want to break it up. So one day i told her that i have a crush on a girl and i wouldn't want to tell her who she is but i told her what i was thinking and that i will show her who that girl is. She wouldn't believe me and kept on forcing me. haha :D remembering those moments. 
I told her that i didn't want to tell her is because i dont want to break apart this friendship that we share and she had just suffered a heartbreak at that time and if i were to confess to her and even if we got together, other people may think bad of her, such as a person who switches boyfriends from one to another. I didn't want anyone to think bad or her but the urge to tell her that i like her and i just want to be with her, is like not allowed to play games when you are very addicted to it. 
So after numerous tries and attempts of me breaking the secret, i told her and confessed to her at the same time and she told me the same thing in return. So that was how it began. But i told her that, if she can manage her studies, if she knows what she's doing, her parents or her family doesn't mind and if she's happy with it then i can go with it as well. So that was when we got together and  frankly, she is the first girl that i've actually confessed to and she's the first girl that got into a real relationship with me. 
So that was just a few days before my Car test that i went to recently. She was the only one that woke up that early to keep me company and to support me further when the situation was getting intense back at the driving school. But she slept after that. The only person in the world that would do that for me. She gave me a nickname and so i had one for her too. Most of the things that i like she likes to. Everything that a guy can do for a girl is special to her, even down to hugs and kissed on the forehead. so i reserved those for her as well cause they were also special to me before sometime ago. The only girl that would ask for a hug eventhough she knows that im covered with sweat. The first text that i see everytime when i wake up and getting a morning message. The call that i get when im supposed to wake up early and it was from her. A wake up call. How happy she was she i told her that i've missed her the entire day and how much i love her. I dont really say much about the three words because i want it to be special. I wish i could say it everyday and everytime when i see her but if i were to do that every single time then upon special occasions, those three words would mean nothing. The first girl that would get worried when i dont reply her text. The first girl that would care about me like no other persons besides my treasured family and friends. A girl that cares about how i would feel. A girl that actually shows the appreciation that i can see when i've done something for her. The only girl that would turn on the skype and leave it just so I can see her sleep and she ,me. Now despite of how much work i have, Im looking at her sleeping so soundly. :) Wish i could be there with her. But anyhow, i still have work to do. 
All i hope is that she would come to know the person i am and to know what runs through my mind. Because of all people, i want her to be able to understand. I want her to trust me. And i want her to care for me as much as i would care for her. There aren't anybody that i can think of that can replace her. Wish i could tell her how much i love her and how many of hugs that i just want to give her. Perhaps one but for this one i'd never let go. She's the one and only piggy that i have. And the one and only piggy that i want to protect and care for.  :D love you piggy ^_^