things change

a lot have been happenning eversince i stopped blogging... somethings change to better and some to the worst.. friends were the first priorities... first of all, i have always dreamt of friends that might understand me better so that they will know what to do if anything change in me. all around me are friends that say bad words... i've been trying to tell my friends not to say bad words ever since form one but since they dont listen they i sort of gave up.

my hearts feels as if there is a stone on top of it now. everything is so ironic. maybe its because of this:
there is this girl from school bus that i have wanted to know.. one day i just went up to her and talk. she gave not much response and i know that she's shy.. so i left her alone soon later as everytime when i try talking to her, she doesn't give much response. its not that i like her, long as i get to be friends and and a girl to talk to in bus, i would be happy enough adi. but everytime i talk to her, its either she nod, skake her head or just smile. she would talk of course but not more than 10 words. we became just hi and bye friends. that's all ... i would share stuff with her but she's way too shy.
the following three weeks, we didn't talk much. but then there's this random guy who just went up to her and ask for her phone number and she gave him reluctantly. two days later they became bro and sis close. they shared so much stuff and they talked. though i was a little jealous and a little mad because of this. the thing im mad about is that i tried so hard to communicate to this girl and she just... dont care... and that guy on the other hand, got her phone number and they became so close in such a short time.
i didn't think of doing anything as causing trouble would lead to more troubles. so i just kept quiet and just let it be. i have also tried talking to her in mandrin or hokkien because i thought that english might not work or she doesn't know how to respond with that language well... i was hoping for at least a better talk between us for that day but to no avail. so since she doesn't wanna talk, i'd thought that i'll just let it be. this is one of the things that has kept me down. just resisted...