just sad because of something

sometimes, sad memories gives me this thinking... now that almost all my friends in school know who my girlfriend is then they keep perlying. i used to get mad when they do so but now no more.. i just dont care la.. got used to it.
anyways... about my girlfriend.... she is like mostly making me mad... and sometimes i just cant stand it.. then she dont really take care about herself. she dont take care of her health and then she always like to make herself sick then i got to like worry about her and then when her exam is near, i keep supporting her and keep on asking her to study la but then she dont want. sometimes she make me feel like i want to break up with her. but i dont want to break her heart.. i am not wasting my damn time thinking of ways to make her break up with me instead of mee instead of me breaking hers.... but to no avail. i just dont wanna make her sad. she is really nice but in my presence she is blocked.. but enough about this la... it makes me mad thinking about this....
anyways, i am really sad and happy at the same time... the sad thing is about what i am thinking in my mind right now.i am thinking of someone as i have said before. i keep on thinking about her because of the music i have listened lately... very soft and sad music. that's what making me thinking about her.. but the sad thing is that i cant fall in love with her because she is one year older than me. but since its like that i just remain having a crush on her la... anyways... i dont know about her much. i wish i could tell her how i feel but i can never will... she probably have a boyfriend right now or something... anyways... i just have to forget about it la... anyways, the happy thing is that i have mentioned before that i went to youth and had some fun and then this girl josephine finally stoped ignoring me and started talking to me.. and i am glad that i didn;t lose a friend.. anyways... aw... man... i am thinking of her again.... haiz.... anyway... i think thats all for today because i really cant think of anything to write anymore... besides i am tired already.. anyways.. SAYONARA!!